


A Guide to Coming Out to Your (probably) Straight Friends

by allysparkling



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Autistic Hina (BanG Dream!), Coming Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Idols, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Lesbian Character, Useless Lesbians, spoiler alert NONE of them are straight maya is just a dumb gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2019-10-23 15:43:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17686331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allysparkling/pseuds/allysparkling
Summary: Maya Yamato has known she likes girls since middle school, and coming out wasn't a major problem at first. But her new friends in Pastel*Palettes are a whole different breed of girl than anyone else she knows--she doesn't want to risk losing them, but is it fair to have to hide something so important to her?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please let it be noted that I AM A LESBIAN!!! This fic is written based on my own personal experience with anxiety over coming out.

“I’ve known for a while now.”

Maya’s eyes flit around the room, pretty much anywhere but up.

“I don’t want you to think anything different of me, I-I guess I’m just telling you because I need to know that… you know, if you’ll still be my friend.” _That’s not good enough, Maya. You need to elaborate._ “I don’t think I could be friends with someone who doesn’t like that I’m g-gay.”

She finally looked up, meeting the other girl’s gaze.

Her reflection stared back at her.

She lightly kicked the bathroom sink with her foot and groaned, running her hands through her hair in frustration. _Why is this so hard?_

When she reads blog posts and stories about other gay people, the narrative is usually fear first, _then_ confidence. But somehow, Maya had it backwards. Before, she never had to fret over coming out to someone. Her whole family knows, she told them when she realized it three years ago. It was easy to tell all her school friends, too. But once people shot her down, she floundered. Now, the thought of being rejected by her bandmates--after everything they’ve been through--was nightmarish, but all too real a possibility.

Maybe she shouldn’t even try. It’s not like she can date anyone; the studio was very clear during her training that idols are supposed to have open relationships. But it felt stupid that she couldn’t come out as simply as she did before.

Leaning down into the sink, she splashed some water in her face, choosing to sit there for a few seconds and hug her cheeks. She stared at herself, he nose just barely touching the surface of the mirror.

Ultimately, if her friends didn’t “approve” of her, they really shouldn’t be friends anyway. It made her sick to think about it, though. The band had become so important to her over the past year that the idea of suddenly being hated by them was awful. Not to mention how it would affect the band if they had to bring in a new drummer for such a reason.

She straightened herself and stood tall, looking at herself in the mirror with as much confidence as she could muster. Clearing her throat, she started over.

“Hey, I need to talk to you about something.”

***

Maya found the perfect opportunity to catch the other girl alone during practice the next day. She was relaxing in the hallway, her fingers tapping deftly at the screen of her phone. She put it down when Maya approached, opting for a small wave.

“Hey, Maya-chan!”

“Hey Hina-chan,” she greeted. Anxiety pooling in her heart, she opted to start out with a little small talk. “How are you doing?”

“I’m boppin’! I got up early today, so I made breakfast for me and my sis! And guess what?”

“Wh-”

Before Maya could answer, Hina continued, “She ate it! I made toast and eggs and put them together and made a little sandwich. I didn’t think she would eat it at first, but she did! She even sat down with me at the table to eat for a few minutes before she left for practice! Oh, and then before she left we-”

Right. Hina doesn’t do small talk.

“Actually-” Maya interrupted, “-I have something I really need to tell you.”

Hina nodded. “Yeah, I’ll save that story for when the others get here. It’s really funny, but I don’t wanna tell it twice.”

Maya sighed, unsure of where to begin. She chose to come out to Hina first because, out of all the other girls, she cares the least about expectations.

But there’s also the risk that Hina will run her mouth, as she often does. Not that she means anything by it, Maya knows, but she can be a little loose lipped for Maya’s comfort. So as soon as this conversation is over, she needs to hurry and come out to the others before Hina can do it for her.

Maya took a deep breath. She was being stared at, expectantly, as she’s sure her anxiety is well worn on her face. When talking to Hina, there’s no point in beating around the bush, so she decided to just come out and say it. “Hina,” she began, “I like girls.”

Hina blinked, her expression unchanging. She still smiled wide, that uncontainable energy behind it. “So?”

“W-what do you mean so?” Maya stammered, her heart skipping a beat.

“I like girls too!” Hina said. “Everyone likes girls. It would be pretty sexist not to like girls, right?”

This time, Maya blinked, her face going red as she realized the misunderstanding. “No, Hina, that’s not what I meant.”

“Oh.” Hina went quiet. She pursed her lips, looking awkwardly away from Maya, then back to her. “What _do_ you mean?”

“I mean I like girls in the same way everyone else likes boys.” She took a deep breath, then added, “Like, romantically. I’m a lesbian.”

Hina’s eyebrows shot up as understanding dawned on her face. “Oh! That’s cool!”

It was like a sudden weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Maya felt her face grew hot as she breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe her friends would be understa-

“I like girls, too!”

The train of thought stopped in its track, and then briefly crashed in a fiery explosion.

“What?” Maya asked.

 _“I like girls too!”_ Hina repeated herself, raising her voice to enunciate her words clearer, as if Maya had only misheard her.

“Romantically?”

Hina tilted her head to the side like a confused puppy. “Duh. Doesn’t everyone?”

“No!” Maya sputtered. “I mean, a lot girls only like boys. And some boys only like boys. But people think it’s weird for girls to like girls, or for boys to like boys, you know?”

“Really?” Disbelief briefly flashed under Hina’s expression. Maya wanted to scream.

 _Does she seriously not know what homophobia is?_ “Yes. That’s why I was so nervous to tell you--I’ve had people get mad at me for coming out to them.”

“Oh.” Hina’s expression changed to one familiar, the kind she has when she realizes one of her friends is hurting and she struggles to think of what to say. As much as she cares, Hina has never been too good at noticing that kind of thing. “And you thought I would be mad at you?”

Embarrassment flooded Maya’s cheeks, and she nodded her head. Suddenly, she couldn’t even bear to look Hina in the eye. To her, it probably looked like Maya didn’t trust her, when in fact it was the opposite.

 _Oh no._ Did she mess this up? If Hina had already just assumed she was into girls, there was no reason to have this conversation in the first place. All she did was making this more awkward. Regret formed a black hole in the pit of her stomach.

She didn’t see what Hina was doing, but she did feel a sudden pressure on her shoulder. A quiet, but out-of-place _shhh_ noise came out of Hina’s lips.

It only then occurred to her that Hina was trying to be comforting. She put her hand on Maya’s shoulder because that’s what people do. It’s a little awkward--she knows Hina doesn’t touch people other than her sister very often--but the fact that she’s trying speaks volumes, and it comforts Maya a lot more than the hand pressing down on her shoulder. In fact, that hand is starting to hurt a little, like Hina was trying to squeeze the anxiety out of her like a sponge.

Maya turns back to Hina, and wraps her arms around her in a hug, taking care not to squeeze too tight. Hina hugs back, her arms barely make contact with Maya’s back, but she does net her head rest on Maya’s shoulder, which provides a comforting warmth that Maya hadn’t expected.

Some would say Hina needs to work on her hugs, but Maya thought she was just fine.

“I think you’re still super cool,” Hina said when they finally pulled away from each other. “There’s nothing you could do that would make me think otherwise.”

“Really?” Maya asked, her eyebrow quirked.

“Of course! You’re one of my best friends. I don’t know why people would dislike you for liking girls,” Hina said, slumping her shoulders in thought. “It’s not like it’s any of their business.”

“Exactly!” Maya said, a little too loudly for her own tastes. She cringes and looks around the hallway, thankful to see it’s still empty. “It’s not anyone’s business.”

Maya looked away again, but she could still feel Hina’s gaze on her. It didn’t make her anxious anymore, though.

She was drawn back to Hina when the girl suddenly stood, brushing dust off her pants as if the studio didn’t have the cleanest floors they had ever seen. She held out a hand to Maya.

“C’mon Maya, let’s head into the studio! I want you to show me that thing with the speakers you did last week.”

“You wanna see that again? Why?”

“It was super boppin’! You’re like a technology wizard!”

Maya smiled as she took Hina’s hand. “Yeah, I can show you.”


	2. Chapter 2

After her talk with Hina an hour ago, Maya found herself brimming with renewed confidence in the knowledge that no matter what happens, she’ll still have at least one of her friends on her side.

Out of the three remaining girls, Eve was easiest to find watching sword videos on her phone in the lounge room. Eve grinned when Maya entered the room. She was laying flat on her belly, a pillow under her arms and her feet.

“Hey, Maya-chan!”

“Hey, Eve.” She waved and plomped down in a bean bag next to the couch. It sunk under her weight, and she settled comfortably. “What are you watching?”

“I’m watching my favorite YouTube swordsman, BanabanoMaster1215! He’s duel wielding katanas that are on fire!” Eve turned the screen towards her and, sure enough, a large man was holding two, long and skinny swords that were engulfed in flames. He twisted them around in a show offy fashion, narrowly avoiding chopping his own arms off with deadly precision.

Maya didn’t have to feign impression. The sight was pretty badass. “That’s cool!”

“I know right?” Eve grinned, closing the video and tucking the phone under her chest. “I want to be able to do that someday! Oh! I could do it for a music video!”

“Ahaha…” The mental image of Eve trying to do that summoned a cold sweat down her back. Even if she somehow managed to do it unharmed, everything else would be on fire. The property damage would be incalculable. “Let’s hold off on that for now.”

Slumping her shoulders, Eve let out a heavy breath. “Aww. You sound like Chisato-chan,” she complained.

“Well, that’s a good thing. Chisato-chan is smart,” Maya replied. Noticing Eve’s somber expression, she adds, “But maybe we can talk to the producers about having some professionals do it in a video?”

Eve’s eyes lit up. “Yes! I’m sure they will see how cool it would be!”

It was an interesting thought, at least. While professional sword-swingers doing their sword-swinging would fit oddly with a pastel themed idol band, if anyone could find a way to make it work, it was them. Plus, that unique charm is a huge part of their appeal as a band, apparently.

But that’s not important. Well, it is, because Eve seemed to want it very badly, but it’s not the reason Maya is here. She sighed, unsure of how to begin the subject matter pressing at her. “Actually, I came here because I have something to tell you.”

“Oh?” Eve propped her head on her chin and leaned forward. 

Maya cleared her throat. “Ok, so hopefully this isn’t a big deal, but I need to get it off my chest.” she stuttered. “And I really don’t want this to change what you think about me, or our friendship. But I need to tell you because you’re very important to me.”

Eve’s face turns from interest to concern, and it was probably a trick of the light, but Maya could have sworn there was a hint of a blush on her cheeks. Eve was sitting much closer now, so close she could see the details of her light blue eyes.

For some reason, it suddenly felt harder to say then she felt with Hina. She grabbed one of the spare pillows and hugged it, digging her face into the soft material. Stupid as she felt burying her face in a pillow, the fabric’s texture and the weight of it managed to calm her nerves slightly.

Eve waited patiently. 

“I’m… lesbian,” she finally croaked out, peeking from her pillow to watch the reaction.

Eve cocked her head to the side. “I thought you were Japanese?”

Maya’s head swung towards Eve, who was looking at her with a very self-satisfied smile on her lips. 

She giggled, “I’m kidding! I know what lesbian means.”

“Eve…!” she groaned, tossing her pillow at Eve’s face. Eve deflected it and tossed it right back. While she was frustrated, there was an immediate relief that came from Eve treating it so lightly. It meant she’s not… against it, at the very least. “You scared me! I just had to explain what being gay is to Hina, so I literally thought- ugh, nevermind.”

Eve laughed, and the sound lifted any annoyance from Maya’s heart. Repositioning herself on the couch, she sat criss-cross applesauce and looked at Maya. “Actually, I’m really glad you told me-” she said, scratching her cheek, “-because I like girls too!”

Maya nearly stopped breathing.

_ What? _

_ Oh. _

_ Oh my god. _

Her chest felt like it was caving in on itself. Unlike Hina, Eve knew exactly what she was saying. “You do?” was all Maya managed, trying to stop herself from looking as flabbergasted as she felt.

Eve nodded. “Yeah! You remember Hanne?”

“Hanne? Your friend from Finland?”

“Yup. She was my first girlfriend!”

_ Fuck.  _ Not only is Eve gay, but she’s already had a girlfriend? A real life girlfriend, who she kissed and cuddled and went on dates with? Eve wasn’t just a lesbian… she was a powerful one.

“But we broke up before I moved. So I’m… not in a relationship,” she added, brushing a strand of white hair behind her ear.

Maya was short circuiting.  _ Eve is gay. Eve is gay?  _ How many of her friends are gay and she just didn’t notice? Is she really that blind? Is her heterosexual radar busted?

“Maya-chan? Are you okay?” Eve asked.

“Yeah, I’m just… recalibrating.” Maya let out a heavy breath through her nose and brushed her hair out of her face. “This is a little shocking, is all. I didn’t realize so many of my friends were gay, too.”

“If you were scared to come out to me,” Eve said, “I think it’s very, very brave that you did!”

Internally, Maya chanted,  _ Please don’t say bushido, please don’t say bushido- _

“It really shows that you have the spirit of bushido within you!”

_ Damn it. _ How did Eve manage to tie everything back to samurai culture? Maya sighed, slumping back into the bean bag chair with a weight lifted from her shoulders. “Thank you,” she said anyway. In the end, a bushido compliment from Eve meant a lot.

“So… is there any particular reason you told me?” Eve asked. There’s a glint of something hopeful in her eyes, but Maya must be seeing things.

No, there isn’t any particular reason she told her. Hopefully Eve didn’t think she was trying to ask her out. That would be a whole other layer of embarrassing.

_ Eve is cute, but… _

_ But… _

Well, there really wasn’t an excuse. Eve is certainly beautiful; possibly the most beautiful girl she’s ever seen. Her blue eyes are captivating, and her snow white hair, which frames her perfect face, looks soft enough to run her fingers through. Her energy can cheer up even the darkest rooms, and her passion and dedication for her friends is something to be admired. Even the facets of Eve’s personality some people find annoying, like her obsession with Japanese culture and bushido, are as lovable as any other part of her.

Why wouldn’t she like Eve?

…

Does she like Eve?

_ Oh no. _ Eve was still looking at her, waiting for an answer, and Maya was sitting there like an idiot, her mouth slightly parted like a fish stuck in a tank. This isn’t how she expected this situation to turn out, but here they are.

Eve was still looking at her expectantly. She didn’t know what to say, so Maya did the only thing she knows how to do: fuck the situation up even more. She stood up quickly, nearly knocking over the coffee table with her knees. 

“I’m gonna go, uh, check on my drums.” She pushed her glasses back up her nose. “Make sure they’re… uh… drumming good.”

“Oh... okay!” Something about the way Eve said that sounded disappointed, but Maya must be hearing things. Then, she perked up and asked: “Can I come with you?

“No, it’s okay! It’s a one-person job. I also have to go to the bathroom.”  _ Dammit, why did I say that? _ “I’ll see you later, okay?”

Eve looked at her for a second, then flopped back on the couch. “Okay…! See you at practice, then!”

Maya powerwalked out of that room like she’s never powerwalked before. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! If you've been waiting for chapter two, I sorely apologize for my lateness lol. I'm sort of struggling to write this fic, mainly because I'm trying some new stuff and it's hard to be satisfied with what I write, but I feel confident enough in this chapter to post it, so yay!


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